Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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