Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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