Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
