that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
