Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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