your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
