There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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