Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
