Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
