The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
