What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
