I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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