I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
