My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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