"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
