I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i think im in europe. pls send help
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
