You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
