Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
