we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
