the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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