Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
