A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
