I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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