I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
