dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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