Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
