IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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