I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
