I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
