it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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