rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
