How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
