Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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