i wish starbucks made bloody marys
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
