I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
