my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
