i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
