the condom got lost in my hair
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
