I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
