Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
