Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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