no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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