I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
