Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
