Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
