You can't motorboat a personality
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
