you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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