Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
