her vagine was all disorganized.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
