He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
