we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
