I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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