so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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